Epic Fail- is what I want to title the first attempt at trying to help a homeless person. But just as I was thinking the words, I thought about my encouragement to others in the group who had that same thought for their first day of a particular fast. So, I started thinking….what is there to learn here?
My husband got out of class early and surprised me by taking me to lunch. Over lunch, I reminded him about the possessions fast, and asked him if today would be a good day to start. He agreed, we prayed about it with our meal blessing, and then after lunch we went. So, here’s the image I had in my mind on how this would go down:
There would be a group of homeless people just sitting waiting for us to show up. My husband would initiate some witty conversation, and then we would pop the question to one lucky homeless person, “What is your biggest need for the day?” And then they would tell us they really needed a meal, or a bag, or gloves, or whatever, and then we would rush off to get it, and save the day! Looking back, I realize how this is a very over inflated view of myself.
Here is how it really went down:
We drove up to the homeless hangout and there was a man sitting under the tree, just waiting. He had a bag which looked like take out food, and was drinking….a beer. Uh, no where in my mind did my vision include going up to a stranger who already had a meal, and was enjoying a cool one. We drove off. The next person we found, was obviously out of his mind, and looked like he was sorting through some pills on the retaining wall. Then we approached a man sitting on a bench waiting for the bus, and honestly, I don’t think he was homeless. (It’s actually more difficult than I thought to determine a homeless person, and it’s not like you can just go up and ask a person, “Are you homeless, yes? Oh good, I have a question for you.) I clearly am in over my head. I’m starting to think what 49 items do I have that I can just give away? Anyway, this man was very sweet and obviously perplexed by our question, and said that he didn’t have any needs, but thank you very much. The last guy we approached wouldn’t even stop to talk to us, he kept walking like we were about to jump him. This is what I have deduced from the first outing: homeless people, like the ones who live in the Lowes/Walmart parking lots are dealing with some serious demons. I mean like, really. And I am not equipped to make their day better by an act of prideful heroism. I’m quickly understanding why God anoints people to do the ministry He calls them to do. We don’t have the power on our own to do anything good. It all comes from Him.
So, I started praying that God would lead my husband. I thought maybe we should go back and talk to the guy with the beer. But my husband drove the opposite direction, and kept driving. Normally, I would have been bothered. I would have been upset that “my idea” wasn’t working out, and I probably would have….ok there’s no probably…I would have blamed my husband for not having enough faith to hear what God was telling us. But this day, I just went along for the ride, and I actually enjoyed just spending time with him, and letting him lead. We didn't find anymore homeless people, and by this time, my daughter's school was letting out.
So, I’ve decided that this was not an epic fail. I learned a really valuable lesson in the blessing of submitting to my husband. It wasn't the lesson I thought I would be taught, but evidently, it was the lesson I needed.
