The Race

I lay in bed an hour before I managed to get out of it today.  Today’s Monday, meaning work out day, and I started last night praying for God to help me want to exercise this morning.  I’ve found through these fasts already, that I really don’t like doing anything hard.  I think the issue goes even deeper.  I know the average person has a fear of failure, and I’m sure I have just as much as the next girl, but that’s not what stops me in my tracks.  It’s the fear of success.  That’s right.  Success brings so much more pressure than failure.  If you win, you have to keep it up.  You have to try harder, because others are going to try harder to keep up with you.  And then there’s that thing that it inevitably brings:  jealousy.  And jealousy brings an army of problems.  I am always amazed at how mean (especially girls) can be when they are jealous of another girl.  Up until now, I’ve let it get the best of me.  I’ve given up, scaled back, and put myself down so that others won’t have to be jealous of me.

But not anymore.  I’m pressing forward, and I’m going to improve, because I know the Author of the race.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2  

While I am exercising these mornings, I’m also praying, asking Jesus to help me overcome my fears, and to teach me endurance.  I want to finish the race.  I want the sin in my heart to be removed, and I want love to remain.  I’m not there yet, but that’s ok, I’ve got some AWESOME ladies running by my side, and we have our eyes on Jesus.  I know we are going to finish.