Today is the last day of fasting for me. Yay! And not so yay. My biggest realization during this time is that I eat too much! Really. The reason I’ve gained all this weight in one year, is simply because, I consume more food than my body needs, and it makes me sad. Especially because I know how much money I spend on food every month, and how many organizations there are in my local area to feed hungry people.
Yesterday after fasting I was so hungry, I ate two pieces of a cookie, two bites of cake, and one of those -so much sodium-fake cheese and breadsticks-it-could clog an artery-packages. I had been trying to eat healthy thinking of my sisters in spirit giving up all snacks and limiting themselves to 7 items for two weeks, but yesterday, I just couldn’t do it. I ordered pizza for dinner. A bacon and pepperoni pizza for my beloved boys, a pasta alfredo for my dear daughter, and a green pepper and mushroom pizza for me with the hopes that my boys might add a little veggies to their diet, too. All I could eat was one piece. ONE PIECE. And I could barely finish that. My stomach is shrinking, and I don’t think I want it to go back to the way it was.
This is the way my stomach thought before: "I can eat whatever I want. I don’t have to share. I can take more than is necessary for myself, I deserve it. I don’t care if there are others who have less than me." I want this smaller stomach’s thoughts to persevere: "I don’t need as much to survive, I can share my resources with those less fortunate, I will seek opportunities to give."
I pray that God will give me the grace to live it.
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